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What's My Age Again?

This song's really hard to play, and i'd appreciate it if you
don't listen to me for the next two and a half minutes, alright?

Shut the fuck up!


i took her out, it was a friday night
i wore cologne, to get the feeling right.
we started making out, and she took off my pants
but then i turned on the tv.

and that's about the time she walked away from me,
nobody likes you when you're 23
and are still more amused by tv shows
what the fuck is ADD?
my friends say i should act my age
what's my age again?
what's my age again?

then later on, on the drive home
i called her mom, from a payphone.
i said i was the cops, and your husband's in jail
the state looks down on sodomy.

and that's about the time that bitch hung up on me.
nobody likes you when you're 23
and are still more amused by prank phone calls
what the fuck is 'call ID'?
my friends say i should act my age
what's my age again?
where is my asian friend?

*It's the slow-pee part*

and that's about the time she walked away from me,
nobody likes you when you're 23,
and you still act like you're in freshman year.
what the fuck is wrong with me?
my friends say i should act my age
what's my age again?

and that's about the time that she broke up with me,
no-one should take themselves so seriously.
with many years ahead to fall in line,
why would you wish that on me?
i never wanna act my age
what's my age again?
where is my asian friend?

what's my age again?
where's my asian friend?

Fuck Yeah!

Hey Mark, i'm starting to get sweaty and contrary to what most people think
I think I look better wet, i've been campaigning this for about two years now.
So throughout the show you will see me getting sexier and sexier as it gets
hotter and hotter, y'know?

And...

And what?

If you watch close enough you might watch Tom getting fatter and fatter
as the show goes on too.

Why would I be getting fatter?

'Cause..

Boobies!

Oh Jesus, stop it no!

You are too young.

You're way too young.

Gosh, lemme tell you why your gonna get fatter and fatter
because dog semen is full of calories.

Yeah, don't eat dog semen we hear that it's the number one cause of uh bad breath.